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I could look for universal significance in a kitten, which would eat up the time of any decent thinker or crackhead, but I cant today.

I could wonder about the other things.. the attached feeling to the beach, but suffocating fear of the ocean? The spaced-out look people tell me I get when I see bright blue lamposts. The strange deja vu in the places I've never been. The obsessing over this mysterious nostalgia is actually the only thing that kept me going sometimes, when everything had gone to hell, I could only remark on the nearby houses reminding of something or a song I had found. When I was away from home for so long, sleeping in a scary place.. I whistled out songs from Megaman until I fell asleep, went over comedy routines aloud. I was never alone with no one around.

But after I went to Florida to spend time with Fellus, I realized that becoming older had taken some of that ability, that when I left after two wonderful weeks.. I couldnt be happy again 'til I was back. It was all missing from my life, the nights we spent with her, mike and me. Still, the memories keep me warm when its coldest in my room. Maybe, this too is a form of whistling..

- T